{"id":477293,"date":"2025-09-16T16:14:01","date_gmt":"2025-09-16T21:14:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/?p=477293"},"modified":"2025-09-16T16:14:01","modified_gmt":"2025-09-16T21:14:01","slug":"is-it-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/dv\/is-it-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It Abuse?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Abuse doesn\u2019t always leave visible scars. It can be emotional, verbal, financial, digital, sexual, spiritual, or physical\u2014and sometimes, it can be hard to tell if what you&#8217;re experiencing is truly abuse. If you\u2019re feeling confused, afraid, or constantly walking on eggshells, trust your instincts\u2014something may not be right.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>You are not alone. Our online assessment tool is here to help you reflect on your experiences and recognize warning signs. This quick, confidential guide walks you through common patterns of abusive behavior to help you determine whether you\u2014or someone you care about\u2014may be in an unsafe relationship.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>No one deserves to be controlled, threatened, or hurt. If you recognize abuse in your relationship, or if you&#8217;re still unsure and just need someone to talk to, we&#8217;re here to support you. You deserve safety, respect, and peace.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<div id=\"qbox\">\r\n\r\n<div id=\"preview\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">Relationship Quiz<\/div>\t\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>This questionnaire is meant only as a quick tool for assessing some of the common risk factors of relationship violence.  No tool will ever be as accurate as your own feelings and intuition at determining your risk of danger. No matter what your score, if you feel uncomfortable or fearful in your relationship, please reach out for help. Answer all 20 questions to see your score.<\/p>\r\n<div class=\"continue\">Begin&nbsp;<i class=\"fa-solid fa-angle-right\"><\/i><\/div>\r\n <\/div>         \r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div id=\"finished\">\r\n\t <div class=\"qp\"><p>Ready to move on to your results?<\/p><\/div>\r\n         <div class=\"answer\">\r\n         <a id=\"doneyes\" href=\"yes\">Yes<\/a> <a id=\"doneno\" href=\"no\">No<\/a>\r\n         <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div id=\"results\">\r\n<div class=\"spinner\" role=\"status\">\r\n      <span class=\"sr-only\">Loading&#8230;<\/span>\r\n    <\/div>\t\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div id=\"steps\">\r\n        <form id=\"formElem\" name=\"formElem\"  >\r\n            <fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f1\">\r\n            <div class=\"qnumber\">1<\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner frequently or violently accuse you of cheating or flirting with other people, when you haven&#8217;t?<\/p><\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"answer\">\r\n            <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q1\" id=\"q1_yes\" value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q1_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n            <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q1\" id=\"q1_no\" value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q1_no\">No<\/label>\r\n            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n            <\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n\r\n          <fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f2\">\r\n          <div class=\"qnumber\">2<\/div>\r\n          <div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner ever look at you, or use body language, in ways that make you afraid for your safety?<\/p><\/div>\r\n          <div class=\"answer\">\r\n          <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q2\" id=\"q2_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q2_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n          <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q2\" id=\"q2_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q2_no\">No<\/label>\r\n          <\/div>\r\n\t  <div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n          <\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f3\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">3<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Have you stopped talking to, or spending time with, other friends or family members because of your partner?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q3\" id=\"q3_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q3_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q3\" id=\"q3_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q3_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f4\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">4<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Do you feel you must frequently explain yourself or justify where you go, what you wear, who you&#8217;re with, etc., to your partner?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q4\" id=\"q4_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q4_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q4\" id=\"q4_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q4_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f5\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">5<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner ever hit, slapped, kicked, bitten you, pushed you down, or otherwise physically hurt you?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q5\" id=\"q5_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q5_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q5\" id=\"q5_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q5_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f6\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">6<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner ever threatened to harm you, your kids, friends, pets, other loved ones, or themself if you leave them?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q6\" id=\"q6_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q6_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q6\" id=\"q6_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q6_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f7\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">7<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner eavesdrop on your phone calls, read your text messages, or hack into your online accounts to check up on you?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n<input type=\"radio\" name=\"q7\" id=\"q7_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q7_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n<input type=\"radio\" name=\"q7\" id=\"q7_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q7_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f8\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">8<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner call you names, constantly criticize, put you down in front of other people, or tell you you&#8217;re worthless\/stupid\/ugly, etc?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q8\" id=\"q8_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q8_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q8\" id=\"q8_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q8_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f9\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">9<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner lash out at you but then tell you it&#8217;s your own fault, or that you&#8217;re making a big deal about nothing?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q9\" id=\"q9_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q9_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q9\" id=\"q9_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q9_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f10\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">10<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Do you feel that you have to constantly &#8220;check in&#8221; with your partner to let them know what you&#8217;re doing?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q10\" id=\"q10_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q10_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q10\" id=\"q10_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q10_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f11\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">11<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner ever broken something that belongs to you on purpose, in anger, or in order to &#8220;teach you a lesson&#8221;?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q11\" id=\"q11_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q11_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q11\" id=\"q11_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q11_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f12\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">12<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner influenced you to drop out of clubs or hobbies you enjoy, so that you can spend more time just with them?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q12\" id=\"q12_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q12_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q12\" id=\"q12_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q12_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f13\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">13<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner steal from you, demand you give them money, buy them things, or tell you how to spend your money?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q13\" id=\"q13_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q13_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q13\" id=\"q13_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q13_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f14\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">14<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner ever forced you to have sex, or to perform any sexual activity that was painful or humiliating?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q14\" id=\"q14_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q14_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q14\" id=\"q14_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q14_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f15\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">15<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Has your partner ever strangled you, or threatened to strangle you? Ever compressed your chest, held something over your nose and mouth, or otherwise cut off your air supply?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q15\" id=\"q15_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q15_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q15\" id=\"q15_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q15_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f16\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">16<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner follow you around, spy on you, or leave you threatening messages?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q16\" id=\"q16_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q16_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q16\" id=\"q16_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q16_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f17\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">17<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Does your partner&#8217;s temper frighten you?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q17\" id=\"q17_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q17_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q17\" id=\"q17_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q17_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f18\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">18<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Are you afraid to ever contradict or disagree with your partner because they may react violently, break your things, or retaliate?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q18\" id=\"q18_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q18_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q18\" id=\"q18_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q18_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f19\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">19<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>Do you find yourself embarrassed or apologizing for your partner&#8217;s behavior toward you in front of other people?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q19\" id=\"q19_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q19_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q19\" id=\"q19_no\"   value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q19_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><div class=\"rightarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n\r\n<fieldset class=\"step\" id=\"f20\">\r\n<div class=\"qnumber\">20<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"qp\"><p>If you wanted to, would you be afraid to break up with your partner?<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div class=\"answer\">\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q20\" id=\"q20_yes\"  value=\"yes\" \/><label for=\"q20_yes\">Yes<\/label>\r\n    <input type=\"radio\" name=\"q20\" id=\"q20_no\"  value=\"no\" \/><label for=\"q20_no\">No<\/label>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"arrows\"><div class=\"leftarrow\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n<\/fieldset>\r\n<\/form>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n    <div id=\"navigation\" >\r\n        <ul>\r\n            <li><a href=\"1\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"2\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"3\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"4\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"5\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n\t    <li><a href=\"6\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"7\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"8\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"9\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n\t    <li><a href=\"10\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"11\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"12\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"13\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n\t    <li><a href=\"14\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"15\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"16\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"17\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n\t    <li><a href=\"18\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"19\"><\/a><\/li>\r\n            <li><a href=\"20\"><\/a><\/li>            \r\n        <\/ul>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Something feels wrong\u2014but is it abuse? Use our confidential tool to recognize red flags, understand patterns of control, and get clarity about your relationship. You\u2019re not overreacting.","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":477153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-477293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=477293"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":477294,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477293\/revisions\/477294"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/477153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=477293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=477293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gccfn.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=477293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}