Domestic violence is a crime of power and control. Not all domestic abuse is physical.
Abusers may use many different tactics to gain and maintain coercive control over their partners. An abuser does not need to be larger or physically intimidating. An abuser may be physically smaller and still manage to dominate their victim by using some of the methods shown here. No amount of abuse is acceptable, and the abuse is never the victim’s fault.
Physical Violence
Hurts your body, causes discomfort or threatens your health
- Hitting
- Kicking
- Shoving
- Biting
- Strangulation
- Restraining/tying up
- Withholding medication
- Starvation
- Forced drug use
Verbal Violence
Use of words to scare you, coerce you, or make you feel undeserving of better treatment
- Namecalling
- Put-downs
- Constant criticism
- Frequent unwarranted accusations
- Verbal humiliation
- Threats
Emotional Violence
Manipulation, mind games, and intimidation to maintain coercive control
- Intense, possessive jealousy
- Isolation from friends & family
- Intimidation or coercion
- Gaslighting / calling you crazy
- Threats to harm you, your loved ones, pets, or themself
- Blaming you for the abuse
- Threats to take children away from you if you try to leave
- Destroying sentimental items
- Minimizing or denying the abuse
- Convincing other family/friends that you are the problem
Sexual Violence
Use of sex to dominate and humiliate
- Rape
- Forced participation in unwanted, uncomfortable, or humiliating sexual activity
- Unfaithfulness
- Manipulation of birth control
- Sex trafficking
Financial Violence
Manipulation of resources to make it harder to break free from the abuse
- Controlling all the money in the relationship
- Spending money only on him/herself
- Stealing from you
- Ruining your credit
- Refusing to let you work or sabotaging your efforts to get/keep a job
Spiritual Violence
Manipulation and control through spiritual teachings or practice
- Use of scripture or doctrine to justify abuse or keep you from leaving
- Keeping you from practicing your religion of choice
- Forcing you to participate in religious practices you don’t choose