Who Is the Rapist?

Anyone can be a survivor of rape, and anyone could be a perpetrator. It can happen in dating relationships, marriages, families, workplaces, schools, or between strangers. Sexual assault can be committed by a stranger, but more often, it is perpetrated by someone the survivor knows and trusts—such as a partner, friend, coworker, or family member. Rape can take many forms, and each experience is valid. Some examples include:

Acquaintance/date rape – when the perpetrator is a friend, coworker, neighbor, classmate, or someone else the survivor knows socially

Marital or partner rape – when someone is forced or coerced into sex by a spouse or intimate partner

Drug-facilitated rape – when substances are used to impair someone’s ability to resist or consent

Statutory rape – sexual activity with someone under the legal age of consent, even if they appeared to agree

Stranger rape – when the assault is committed by someone unknown to the victim

Corrective rape – a form of hate-motivated sexual violence, often targeted at LGBTQ+ individuals

All forms of rape are serious and can leave lasting physical, emotional, and psychological harm. It is a crime even if the perpetrator didn’t know what they were doing was a crime, or didn’t intend to commit a crime by their actions.

How Is a Rape Victim Chosen?

Rape is an act of power and control—not passion, desire, or attraction. The decision to commit rape has nothing to do with what someone is wearing, how they look, or whether they were friendly or flirtatious. Survivors are not “chosen” because of their clothing, behavior, or sexual appeal, but rather based on their perceived availability, vulnerability, and isolation.

Most perpetrators are opportunistic. They often look for someone who appears alone, distracted, intoxicated, or emotionally distressed—someone they believe will be less likely to resist or report. In many cases, the rapist knows the victim and may spend time grooming or manipulating them to gain trust before the assault. This might include:

• Watching or following someone to learn their routines
• Waiting for a moment when the victim is alone or isolated
• Exploiting an existing relationship or position of trust
• Using alcohol or drugs to impair the victim’s ability to consent
• Testing boundaries with escalating behaviors over time

It’s important to understand: rape is never the survivor’s fault. The blame lies 100% with the person who chose to violate someone’s bodily autonomy. Clothing, location, time of day, or prior interactions do not cause rape—a rapist’s decision to commit a violent act does.

Other forms of sexual violence

It’s important to remember that sexual violence can take many forms, and doesn’t always involve rape. These other forms are equally valid and should be taken seriously:

Unwanted contact: a form of sexual assault that includes any form of unwanted sexual touching or fondling

Harassment: unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other unwanted verbal or physical advances of a sexual nature

Stalking: a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other conduct that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear

Sex trafficking: a commercial sex act induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or involving a child under age 18

Indecent exposure: when someone shows their genitals to another person without permission, for sexual pleasure and/or to scare or upset them. It is sometimes known as ‘flashing’.